3 min read

We’re All Following Rules No One Asked Us About

You wake up, check your phone, go to work, reply politely, smile when needed, and play by a set of invisible rules you never agreed to.

We’re born into a system already in motion. Society hands us a script-what’s normal, what’s expected, what’s "successful"-and most of us just follow it.

But have you ever stopped to ask:

Who made these rules?

Why do I feel pressured to follow them?

What would life look like if I didn’t?

This post is not about rebellion for the sake of it. It’s about pausing to ask whether the life philosophy we live by is actually ours-or just something we absorbed unconsciously.

The Silent Systems Running Our Lives

Let’s talk about the systems that quietly dictate how we live.

1. The Success Blueprint

Go to school. Get a job. Buy a house. Get married. Have kids. Retire.

This isn't just a plan-it’s treated like a moral path. And if you deviate, society gets uncomfortable.

But here’s the truth: this template doesn’t fit everyone. Some people want to travel forever. Some don’t want kids. Some don’t want to own anything.

Culture often confuses conformity with character.

2. Productivity as Self-Worth

We praise "grind culture" and hustle like it’s a badge of honor. Rest is seen as lazy. Silence is unproductive. Stillness feels like guilt.

Society says: “You are only valuable if you’re producing.”

But identity is not a job description. You are more than your to-do list.

3. The Myth of the "Normal Life"

We’re told certain things are “normal”:

• • Straight marriages
  • 9-to-5 jobs
  • One religion
  • One nationality
  • One gender identity

Everything outside this is “different” or “difficult”.

That’s not truth. That’s cultural bias.

Real-Life Example: Arjun, the "Perfect Son"

Arjun grew up doing everything “right.” Top grades, engineering college, great job. But every day, he felt numb.

“I don’t know who I am,” he told a therapist at age 30. He had followed society’s script so well, he had no idea what he actually liked.

Arjun’s story is common. We often wear masks to fit in, only to lose ourselves in the process.

Why Do We Obey These Rules?

Because we’re social beings.

Because we crave belonging.

Because stepping outside the norm can be terrifying.

But here’s the twist: the "norm" is just what most people are afraid to question.

The biggest myths society tells us:

• • Everyone else is happy with this setup.
  • This is how it’s always been.
  • Breaking away is selfish.

Spoiler: None of these are true.

Signs You’re Living by Someone Else’s Rules

• • You say “yes” when you mean “no”
  • You feel guilty for wanting more (or less)
  • You chase achievements but still feel empty
  • You silence your opinions to avoid conflict
  • You’re afraid to disappoint "them"-but you’re not even sure who "they" are

The Cost of Conforming

You may avoid judgment.

You may blend in.

You may feel temporarily safe.

But the long-term cost?

• • Internal conflict
  • Identity crisis
  • Burnout
  • Regret

Society doesn’t live your life. You do.

What If We Rewrote the Rules?

What if:

• • Success meant peace of mind, not just money?
  • Identity was chosen, not assigned?
  • Culture was explored, not enforced?
  • Life was designed around values, not just validation?

It’s not about burning down the system. It’s about making conscious choices within it.

How to Start Living on Your Own Terms

1. Question everything you were told was “normal.”

Ask: Who said this? Why does it matter? Does it align with me?

2. Find your values, not your roles.

You’re not just a job title, a spouse, a parent. What do you believe in?

3. Listen to discomfort-it’s information.

The unease you feel isn’t a flaw. It’s a signal.

4. Build a community of people who think differently.

You don’t have to walk alone. Others are unlearning too.

5. Redefine what a “good life” looks like for you.

Maybe it’s freedom. Maybe it’s simplicity. Maybe it’s depth. That’s your call.

The Bottom Line

There’s no need to rage against society.

But there’s power in pausing to ask:

• • Who benefits from these rules?
  • Who gets excluded?
  • And who do I become when I stop pretending?

We didn’t vote for these rules. But we can vote every day with how we live, love, and show up.

So if the system doesn’t fit you-maybe you weren’t broken. Maybe the system was never built for the real you.