Unlearning the Script: Who Told Us Who We Should Be?

We’re All Following a Script

From the moment we’re born, society hands us a script.

Girls are told to be nurturing and pretty. Boys are expected to be strong and emotionless. Success means money. Love means sacrifice. Marriage is the end goal. Work defines your worth. Aging is shameful. Therapy is weakness.

We didn’t write these rules - but somehow, we live by them.

The problem? Most of us don’t even realize we’re following someone else’s lines.

This is about unlearning. It’s about recognizing that a lot of what we believe isn’t truth - it’s habit, culture, fear, or convenience.

Let’s start peeling the layers.

Myths We Swallowed Without Question

1. “You are what you do.”

Our identities are tied to job titles. If you say “I’m a doctor,” people nod in approval. Say “I’m between jobs” or “I’m figuring things out,” and the tone shifts. But why does society reduce your identity to your productivity?

Truth vs. Myth Check:

Work is what you do, not who you are. Your essence isn’t in your paycheck. It’s in how you show up for others, how you treat yourself, and the values you carry.

2. “There’s only one way to be successful.”

Buy a house. Get married. Have kids. Retire. That’s “the dream,” right?

But what if your version of success is different? Living in a van, creating art, raising goats, traveling the world, or staying single by choice? Culture often pressures us to conform, even if it doesn’t feel authentic.

3. “Real men don’t cry.”

Let’s talk about emotional suppression. Many men grow up learning that vulnerability is weakness - a dangerous myth that disconnects them from themselves and others.

Breaking that script creates space for healing, empathy, and deeper human connection.

How Society Shapes Us Without Us Noticing

We think we’re making our own choices. But culture is a master of subtle influence.

What you wear. How you speak. Who you date. What you post on social media. Even your opinions.

Much of our identity is curated - not by personal truth, but by external approval. It’s not our fault. We were taught to survive by fitting in.

Here’s the question: If no one were watching, what would you actually do?

A Real-Life Example: Priya’s Story

Priya was the “perfect Indian daughter.” Engineer. Married by 28. Always agreeable. Always polite. But at 35, she hit a wall.

She didn’t recognize herself anymore. Her dreams of becoming a dancer were buried. Her opinions felt filtered. Her joy was performative.

One therapy session later, she said:

“I don’t think I ever chose this life - I just never knew I could choose anything else.”

That’s the cost of living a life philosophy handed to you by someone else.

The Cost of Living a Lie

You may look like you have it all, but feel hollow.

You might be praised constantly, yet feel unseen.

That inner discomfort? That quiet ache? It’s your truth trying to get your attention.

Living according to society’s myths leads to disconnection - from your desires, your values, even your body.

Signs You’re Living Someone Else’s Truth

• • You feel anxious when you’re “not productive”
  • You say “yes” when you mean “no”
  • You don’t know what you enjoy outside of work
  • You avoid conflict even when you disagree
  • You feel guilty prioritizing rest or pleasure

Sound familiar?

How to Start Unlearning the Script

1. Get curious about your beliefs.

Ask: “Where did this idea come from? Who benefits if I believe it?”

2. Watch your self-talk.

When you say “I should…” - pause. Who said you should?

3. Normalize changing your mind.

You’re not being flaky. You’re growing.Your identity isn’t fixed - it’s a living thing.

4. Talk to people who think differently.

Step outside your echo chamber. New perspectives stretch the mind.

5. Reconnect with your body.

So much wisdom is stored in how you feel, not just what you think.

Reclaiming Your Identity

This is your permission slip.

To be soft. Or loud. To change careers. To leave relationships. To question religion. To live outside binaries.

To be fully you - not the version that made everyone else comfortable.

Because the biggest rebellion in a world that thrives on conformity is authenticity.

And: What Would Happen If You Rewrote the Script?

What if the goal wasn’t to be liked, but to be known?

What if success wasn’t applause, but alignment?

What if your life felt like your own?

These aren’t just cute questions. They’re invitations to shift the way we see ourselves - and the society we help shape.

The world doesn’t need more people who fit in. It needs more people who show up real.

So, who are you - really?